11 Signs You're the Problem in Your Friendships
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Friendships can be affected by individual behaviors that may go unnoticed. Experts suggest that self-reflection is crucial to maintaining healthy relationships. Common issues include being transactional, failing to initiate contact, and dominating conversations.
- ▪Many people are unaware of how their actions may negatively impact their friendships.
- ▪Transactional behavior, such as only reaching out when needing something, can sour relationships.
- ▪Chronic flakiness can lead friends to feel unprioritized and eventually stop inviting the unreliable friend.
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| Original publisher | TIME — Top |
| Canonical URL | https://time.com/article/2026/05/21/are-you-the-problem-in-your-friendships/ |
| Publication time | Thu, 21 May 2026 15:05:36 +0000 |
| Retrieval time | 2026-05-21T15:16:11.131Z |
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Opening excerpt (first ~120 words) tap to expand
You probably have a mental list of friends who have annoyed you over the years: the flake, the one-upper, the one who treats you like a free therapist. But somewhere out there, you’re on someone else’s list. It’s a hard thing to wrap your head around, partly because your friends will almost never tell you. “We generally have a bias toward being self-serving,” says Andrea Bonior, a clinical psychologist in Washington, D.C., and author of The Friendship Fix. “We give ourselves the benefit of the doubt more than we should.” While a partner might pick a fight, and a sibling will call you out, a friend is more likely to just gradually stop texting back. You might never find out why.That’s why looking inward is one of the most important things you can do for the friendships you want to keep.
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