What Color is Your Function? (2015)
The article presents a humorous take on programming languages by introducing a fictional language with unique rules. It emphasizes the importance of function colors, where every function must be designated as either red or blue, affecting how they are called. The author uses this satire to explore the quirks of programming while engaging readers in a lighthearted discussion.
- ▪The fictional programming language requires every function to be assigned a color: red or blue.
- ▪Function calling syntax varies based on the color of the function, introducing unique rules for usage.
- ▪The article humorously critiques programming languages by creating a strawman language with absurd features.
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Story provenance
Attribution is not the same as permission. This drawer separates discovery metadata, excerpts, WeSearch-generated summaries, reuse status, and whether the publisher receives the visit. Nothing here claims a legal grant the publisher has not made.
Record
| Original publisher | Stuffwithstuff |
| Canonical URL | https://journal.stuffwithstuff.com/2015/02/01/what-color-is-your-function/ |
| Publication time | Tue, 26 May 2026 15:58:32 +0000 |
| Retrieval time | 2026-05-26T16:07:49.955Z |
| Last seen | 2026-05-26T16:07:49.955Z |
| Headline source | Publisher (no WeSearch rewrite) |
| Excerpt source | publisher body |
| Excerpt method | First ~120 words (~800 chars) of extracted publisher body, fair-use limited. |
| Summary | WeSearch · cerebras-chat (WeSearch summarizer) |
| Summary source text | contentText |
| Citation coverage | Summary is a WeSearch-generated derivative; primary citation is the original publisher URL. |
| Cluster | nnnO69mwD8if |
| Cluster logic | Grouped by semantic title/content similarity across sources within a rolling window. Same-publisher template collisions are excluded from coverage comparison. |
| Ranking reason | Story pages are not engagement-ranked. Hub feeds use recency, with optional source-diversified chronological ordering (cap consecutive stories per source). No personalized ranking. |
| Publisher visit | Yes — open original |
| Substitutes article? | No — link-out required for full text |
Rights status (four layers)
WeSearch handling by dimension
| Indexing | May the item be indexed (stored, ranked, made findable)? | Allowed |
| Snippet | May a short excerpt of the publisher's text be shown? | Allowed |
| AI summary | May WeSearch generate its own short summary of the article? | Limited |
| Retrieval / RAG | May the content be exposed for third-party retrieval-augmented generation? | Not asserted |
| Model training | May the content be used to train AI models? | Not asserted |
| Commercial reuse | May the content be reused commercially? | Not permitted |
Basis: Derived from the published RSS/Atom feed. Contact: [email protected]. Reviewed: 2026-07-24.
Opening excerpt (first ~120 words) tap to expand
What Color is Your Function? < february 01, 2015 > dart | go | javascript | language | lua I don’t know about you, but nothing gets me going in the morning quite like a good old fashioned programming language rant. It stirs the blood to see someone skewer one of those “blub” languages the plebians use, muddling through their day with it between furtive visits to StackOverflow. (Meanwhile, you and I, only use the most enlightened of languages. Chisel-sharp tools designed for the manicured hands of expert craftspersons such as ourselves.) Of course, as the author of said screed, I run a risk.
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Excerpt limited to ~120 words for fair-use compliance. The full article is at Stuffwithstuff.
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