I Need to Put a Moratorium on Sex With My Husband. But I’m Not Sure What Comes Next.
The writer, who recently realized they are nonbinary, is experiencing dysphoria around having sex with their husband and is questioning their attraction to men despite identifying as bisexual. They are considering a moratorium on sex in their marriage while they navigate their evolving identity and sexuality, feeling torn between fear of damaging their relationship and fear of long-term dissatisfaction. Therapy has helped, but they seek guidance on whether and how to reconcile their changing sense of self with their marriage and sexual desires.
- ▪The writer identifies as nonbinary and has begun to experience dysphoria during sexual intimacy with their husband.
- ▪They still feel abstract attraction to men but primarily fantasize about sex with women, which complicates their current marriage.
- ▪Their husband is heterosexual and continues to see them as a femme woman, a perception that hasn't shifted since their gender identity revelation.
- ▪The writer is considering a temporary halt to sex in their marriage while they explore their identity and sexuality without a clear game plan.
- ▪Experts caution against trying to force attraction and suggest exploring desire on a case-by-case basis rather than through rigid labels.
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| Original publisher | Slate |
| Canonical URL | https://slate.com/advice/2026/04/sex-advice-husband-male-attraction-sexuality.html?via=rss |
| Publication time | Tue, 28 Apr 2026 16:30:00 GMT |
| Retrieval time | 2026-04-28T16:37:43.353Z |
| Last seen | 2026-04-28T16:37:43.353Z |
| Headline source | Publisher (no WeSearch rewrite) |
| Excerpt source | publisher body |
| Excerpt method | First ~120 words (~800 chars) of extracted publisher body, fair-use limited. |
| Summary | WeSearch · cerebras-chat (WeSearch summarizer) |
| Summary source text | contentText |
| Citation coverage | Summary is a WeSearch-generated derivative; primary citation is the original publisher URL. |
| Cluster | 0MNWKRAD8NuW |
| Cluster logic | Grouped by semantic title/content similarity across sources within a rolling window. Same-publisher template collisions are excluded from coverage comparison. |
| Ranking reason | Story pages are not engagement-ranked. Hub feeds use recency, with optional source-diversified chronological ordering (cap consecutive stories per source). No personalized ranking. |
| Publisher visit | Yes — open original |
| Substitutes article? | No — link-out required for full text |
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| Indexing | May the item be indexed (stored, ranked, made findable)? | Allowed |
| Snippet | May a short excerpt of the publisher's text be shown? | Allowed |
| AI summary | May WeSearch generate its own short summary of the article? | Limited |
| Retrieval / RAG | May the content be exposed for third-party retrieval-augmented generation? | Not asserted |
| Model training | May the content be used to train AI models? | Not asserted |
| Commercial reuse | May the content be reused commercially? | Not permitted |
Basis: Derived from the published RSS/Atom feed. Contact: [email protected]. Reviewed: 2026-07-24.
Opening excerpt (first ~120 words) tap to expand
How to Do It I Need to Put a Moratorium on Sex With My Husband. But I’m Not Sure What Comes Next. I don’t have a game plan. Advice by Jessica Stoya April 28, 202612:30 PM Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by Wirestock/iStock/Getty Images Plus. Copy Link Share Share Comment Copy Link Share Share Comment How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. It’s anonymous! Dear How to Do It, A few months ago, I realized that I was nonbinary instead of a cis woman. Since then, a lot of aspects of my sexuality have come into question and been discovered (realizing certain kinks, for example). Recently, I have started to struggle with my attraction to men. I have always identified as bisexual, but sex with my husband has been leaving me dysphoric.
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Excerpt limited to ~120 words for fair-use compliance. The full article is at Slate.
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