My Parents Suspect I’ve Lost My Faith. Should I Tell Them the Truth?
The author receives a voicemail from his mother suggesting he has stopped praying and hinting that his wife may be responsible. He debates whether to disclose his true religious stance to his parents or to preserve family harmony by withholding the detail. The column examines ethical considerations of honesty, respect for elders, and personal autonomy in matters of faith.
- ▪The author's mother left a long voicemail expressing concern that he no longer prays and implying his wife might be influencing him.
- ▪He is uncertain whether to tell his parents the truth about his spiritual practices or to keep the matter private to avoid conflict.
- ▪The piece explores philosophical arguments about the duty to be truthful versus the desire to protect loved ones from hurtful truths.
- ▪Appiah recommends a compassionate approach that balances honesty with sensitivity to his parents' expectations.
- ▪He notes that religious belief is often a private matter and that cultural expectations can pressure individuals to disclose personal faith matters.
Opening excerpt (first ~120 words) tap to expand
AdvertisementSKIP ADVERTISEMENTYou have a preview view of this article while we are checking your access. When we have confirmed access, the full article content will load.NewsletterThe EthicistMy Parents Suspect I’ve Lost My Faith. Should I Tell Them the Truth?My mother sent me a long voicemail saying she believes I no longer pray, and implied that my wife may be to blame.Listen · 10:08 min Share full article507Credit...Illustration by Tomi UmBy Kwame Anthony AppiahKwame Anthony Appiah has been The New York Times Magazine’s Ethicist columnist since 2015 and teaches philosophy at N.Y.U.May 27, 2026 !function(){var e="gps_module_impressions",s="gps_suppress_module",t=new URLSearchParams(window.location.search),o="1"===t.get("gps_debug")?function(e,s){console.log("[gps]",e,void…
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