Nation’s Simple-Minded Bumpkins Announce They Don’t Mean No Harm To Nobody
A group of individuals from Peach Creek, KY, known as the simple-minded bumpkins, issued a statement clarifying their intentions. They emphasized that they do not wish harm to anyone and prefer to mind their own business. The spokesperson also humorously requested help with a peculiar situation involving pig-slop buckets stuck on their heads.
- ▪The bumpkins stated they do not mean any harm to anyone.
- ▪Spokesperson Billy Lee 'Bubba' Toddums emphasized their desire to mind their own business.
- ▪They expressed that any issues among others are between them and God.
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| Original publisher | The Onion |
| Canonical URL | https://theonion.com/nations-simple-minded-bumpkins-announce-they-dont-mean-no-harm-to-nobody/ |
| Publication time | Mon, 25 May 2026 13:00:00 +0000 |
| Retrieval time | 2026-05-25T13:07:37.303Z |
| Last seen | 2026-05-25T13:07:37.303Z |
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News Nation’s Simple-Minded Bumpkins Announce They Don’t Mean No Harm To Nobody Share Share on Facebook Share on X Share on Bluesky Share on LinkedIn Share on SMS Share on WhatsApp Email this Page Published: May 25, 2026 PEACH CREEK, KY—Taking an opportunity to firmly reiterate their stance that it weren’t their intention, America’s simple-minded bumpkins issued a joint statement Monday confirming they don’t mean no harm to nobody. “We don’t wish no ill ’pon nobody, no sir,” said bumpkin spokesperson Billy Lee “Bubba” Toddums, his beefy hands limp in the pockets of his denim overalls as he rocked on his heels, chewed a stalk of wheat, and outlined his community’s continued mission to keep mindin’ their own dern business. “We’re simple people just tryin’ to make our way in the world.
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