The Psychiatrist’s Case for Downsizing a Friendship
Psychiatrist Amir Levine challenges the conventional view that anxious or avoidant attachment styles are inherently unhealthy, proposing instead that these traits may reflect natural human variation with evolutionary advantages. In his new book 'Secure,' he suggests that people can build security not by changing their core selves but by reshaping their social environments. Levine argues that sensitivity to social cues or a need for independence should not be pathologized but understood as adaptive traits in certain contexts.
- ▪Amir Levine is a psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and co-author of the bestselling book 'Attached,' which popularized attachment theory.
- ▪In his new book 'Secure,' Levine argues that anxious and avoidant attachment styles can stem from normal biodiversity rather than childhood trauma.
- ▪Research cited by Levine shows that people with anxious attachment detect emotional and environmental changes faster than others.
- ▪Avoidant individuals tend to act independently in crises, often leading others to follow their behavior.
- ▪Levine suggests that building a secure life may involve reevaluating and modifying one's social relationships rather than trying to change one's attachment style.
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FamilyThe Psychiatrist’s Case for Downsizing a FriendshipA new book on attachment theory proposes a radical solution for the anxious among us.By Faith HillIllustration by Alisa Gao / The AtlanticMay 1, 2026, 11:02 AM ET ShareSave A successful stock-market trader once went to therapy with a very specific request. He had been dating a woman he was really excited about—but now she wasn’t responding to his texts, and he was despondent. He was frustrated with her, but also with himself: with his own sensitivity to rejection, with his sensitivity to everything, with the blaring siren in his brain activated by the tiniest hint of danger.
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